Why people have affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be filled with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, finances, age difference, faith upbringing, shame, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet dating for married.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are man seeking woman for affair. I am sure mainly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to switch the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but the public as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your relatives or anyone else? You will need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, enormous truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a male I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, could be caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.